I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
