My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
