dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
