he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
