Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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