He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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