At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
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