I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
