I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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