and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
