remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
