Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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