the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
