Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
