1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
