i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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