You can't motorboat a personality
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
