Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
