dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
