In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
