i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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