My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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