Me too!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I looked at my own cervix.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
