She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Everything about him screamed your future.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I deserve this hangover.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
