and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.