i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus