im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.