No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.