We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
