I will die if light touches me.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
