I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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