I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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