'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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