I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
