Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
