Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
