You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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