so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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