Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
