People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
