you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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