Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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