Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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