I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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