just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
