I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How does one acquire holy water?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
