You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
