i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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