My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
