My liver just broke up with me...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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