Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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