addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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