do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Girls should come with a carfax report
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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