I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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