I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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