i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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