I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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