i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
