i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
