I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
