my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
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