woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
