Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
