She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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