Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
