every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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